Liberal Mormon Senators Bennett, Reed and Hatch met briefly with Barack Obama moments before the swearing in Monday morning. "He asked us about how the Mormon cult was founded, and expressed interest in patterning his new nation after it," beamed Hatch.
"We'd be happy to share the secret, uh, sacred parts of our Kingdom," Bennett agreed, "if the Salt Lake Temple could receive some bailout monies by April."
He refers to the heavy granite edifice in the Headquarters of the church near Salt Lake City, Utah. Engineers are baffled that the building, a Temple constructed using slaves, is now toppling in all directions. "Brigham Young failed to take into account the curvature of the earth," Reid said. "Now, 155 years later, we may have to fly a jet into it, and recycle the granite dust in China."
China has mentioned the dust transfer possibility in Financial editorials lately.
"We think it may stand for another several thousand hours," Senator Hatch was quoted as saying, "but to be safe, we'd like to get it disposed of before then.
Brigham Young made other calculating mistakes in 3 other temples, but they are shored up with titanium wires made to appear as if part of the original design.
Mormons in general are fawning over the new leader, similar to Christian and Muslim faiths.
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