Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ron Paul to Commit Suicide Sunday

Frustrated with the recent nosedive in everything under the sun, Texas Congressman Ron Paul has announced that he will take his life Sunday morning on Meet the Press.

"I am tired of vomiting, it's time to bail," he said plaintively after an interview today.

"Socialism sucks. If it were a vacuum cleaner, it'd be #1 in the world," he asserted. "I'm outta here. He said his chosen method would boost program ratings and hopefully, enable a few workers to hold a job a few weeks longer.

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