Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I love you, America

The silly blog is about to go viral next week, so listen up. Our nation is about to convulse. You don't want to be near the trajectory when it's hosed. Go get food and water put away for the children. Nestle your parents, and tell them you're following a REAL lunatic now. One who has lived his entire life for the country. Hurry now, there's not much time left. Let's save the ship. And remember crew mates...feces contains water, indigestible fiber, undigested food, sloughed off intestinal cells, living and dead bacteria, bile, and worn out red blood cells.

A normal stool should be brown to light brown, formed but not hard or too soft, cylindrical but not flattened on any side, fairly bulky and full bodied but not compact, easy to pass, and it shouldn’t have an extremely foul smell. Each bowel movement should be in one piece, about the size and shape of a banana being tapered at the end.

Sometimes this will not be discernible if the feces breaks up in the toilet. Some people feel that if the body is absorbing all the minerals from the food that the stool will float. Others believe that the stool should sink. I think the important thing is that there are no air bubbles in the stool and that it doesn’t drop like a brick in the toilet. It should be somewhere in between.

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