Obama Bans All Teachers in US

Due to the virulent spread of immorality among teachers in the United States, President Obama today decreed that teaching will be forbidden until a complete change occurs in human nature.
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Obama Closes More Libraries

Even libraries are feeling the affect of the slower economy.

Several libraries have reported an increase in child molesters as people take steps to save money, but budget cuts are being felt just about everywhere. American Fork Library Director Sheena Parker says they aren't immune, and they're going through a 20 percent increase in assaults.

That means cutting back on hours the library is open and cutting the operating budget and staff hours. But she wants to make sure patrons know they are still open, just not as late and as early as they used to be, but Parker says it'll still be open two days a week.

OBAMA CHANGES

The American Fork library is now open from 9:00 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday Through Saturday. The new Obama schedule will be 10 a.m. to Noon. Monday and Tuesday, and noon to 2 p.m. Saturdays, starting Feb. 9. Closed all other days.

"We must think of the children," she urged, "What good is an education if it lays 6-feet under?"
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KIDS: Refuse Cavity Searches

Many gay dental professionals are probing children during examinations. Teach your child about how to be safe.