Limbless Teens for Peace

In efforts to avert a Civil War in America, the call has gone out today, asking any attractive, limbless teen female who is willing to fight to enslave America in the nude.

If you know an attractive girl willing to donate her clothing and time, please contact the Michigan Militia to resist disarmament, or The White House. If you want to fight for peace, and a world without weaponry.

Auditions begin 11:00 PM, February 5, 2009 at the new Militia Cafe in Hell, Michigan.

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Michigan Militia to Talk With Obama

Anonymous sources on both sides have confirmed that President Obama has agreed to private discussions with Michigan Militia leaders to assess if a compromise can be reached in the genocide of the American people.

"We want to offer a solution we can live with," said Terry McVeigh, 16, son of Timothy McVeigh, who was found guilty in 1995 of non-payment for an unreturned rental vehicle.

"I've dreamt of this moment for years," he explained. "I want to see a nation filled with Nazi's, but ones without uniforms. Young ones. Only the finest.

Obama has asked the Militia leaders to "bring photographs and a PowerPoint presentation, which will seriously be reviewed by me."

Volunteer girls aged 16 to 19 are being recruited to show the New People's Army, one that will excite no resistance, as rights are taken in the planned city-by-city Urban Transformation Grid Platform that will meet the U. N. Capitulation and Disarmament Benchmarks, by 2010.
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