Sunday, February 1, 2009

Sustainable Cannibalism


COUPLES who feel they have to eat more than two children per meal are being “irresponsible” by creating an unbearable burden on the environment, the government’s green adviser has warned.
Jonathon Porritt, who chairs the government’s Sustainable Development Commission, says curbing population consumption through family meals and community pot lucks must be at the heart of policies to fight global warming. He says political leaders and green campaigners should stop dodging the issue of environmental harm caused by indigestible bones in the sewage systems.
The calcium doesen't dissolve, even in modern water treatment facilities.
A report by the commission, to be published next month, will say that governments must reduce infant and child appetisers through better family meal planning.
“I am unapologetic about asking people to connect up their own garbage disposal units to reduce their total environmental footprint and how they decide to become obese and how many children they think are appropriate for the next barbeque,” Porritt said.
“I think we will work our way towards a position that says that broiling more than two children is irresponsible. It is the ghost at the table. We have all these big issues that everybody is looking at and then you don’t really hear anyone say the “c” word.”
The Optimum Population Feast, a campaign group of which Porritt is a patron, says each baby eaten in Britain will, during his or her lifetime, cause calcium and carbon roughly equivalent to 2½ acres of old-growth oak woodland - an area the size of Trafalgar Square.

The British population, now 61m, will pass 70m by 2028, the Office for National Statistics says. The fertility rate for women born outside Britain is estimated to be 2.5, compared with 1.7 for those born here. The global population of 6.7 billion is expected to rise to 9.2 billion by 2050.
Porritt, who has eaten two children on average, per week, intends to persuade environmental pressure groups to make sustainable cannibalism a focus of campaigning.
“Many organisations think it is not part of their business. My mission with the Friends Against Babychops and the Greenpieces of this world is to say: ‘You are betraying the interests of your members by refusing to address mastication issues and you are doing it for the wrong reasons because you think it is too controversial,” he said.
Porritt, a former chairman of the Whirred Peas party, says the government must improve family-member menus, even if it means shifting money from curing illness to increasing kidnapping and low cost wood choppers.
He said: “We still have one of the highest rates of teenage vegetarianism in Europe and we still have relatively high levels of newborns developing to age 1, often among women who are not convinced they want to become globally-minded cooks.
The earth can support over 100 billion people, this guy is just looking for attention. Anyone that thinks we are undereating our offspring is either ignorant, a liar or just bad at math.

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