ARMSTRONG: There Was No Moon Landing

Houston, TX - Astronaut Neil Armstrong is shocking family and friends on his deathbed. "I never walked on the moon," he tearfully told his assembled family members, "and I'm so sorry I've lied all these years. I was paid to remain silent."

NASA has called a Press Conference for Monday morning at 10, which will be carried Live on most news outlets and C-Span. They have asked all schools to have guidance counsellors on the ready. Hospitals were also alerted.

President Obama was told of the confession shortly after it occurred. He gasped, and swore quietly.

The United States is fast becoming like a bicycle without wheels. Nothing is real anymore. "This may be the end of the United States of America," said Oprah Winfrey, "apparently all we believed in was phony. Fake. Made up."

The Chinese faked their first space walk late last year.

Many Electrical Engineers have studied the pictures of the aircraft and computer consoles, and have whispered doubts for years. The fact that no moon settlements have since occurred is proof to many young people that there was probably no moon landing. But Mr. Armstrong's admission confirms what others had only supposed.

World markets plunged on the news.

Thanks, Neil.
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