Feds to Adopt All American Families

CAMPAIGN PROMISES FULFILLED AFTER EMERGENCY VOTE

CNN- Congress voted Monday to adopt all Americans, regardless of age or legal status. "You need not worry about anything, ever again," Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) said after the vote passed with wide Senate approval, "we will coddle you for the rest of your life."

Next month's mortgages need not be paid. Auto payments will not be due, either. In fact, all food, utility bills and prescription drugs will be free after next weekend. Even insurance bills will be forgiven.

PERFECT PATH

"We have chosen to go down the perfect path, and we apologize for taking so long."

The program requires that American families be outfitted with a microchip implant, and sign on to an agreement that they will board any bus or train offered to them in coming months. Free trips will be provided for leisure and educational tours.

The American people deserve the best possible, and we're going to give it to them," said Nancy Pelosi, with conviction. "We will be installing comfortable facilities at 107 former Air Force and Army bases," she said, "these will provide a new beginning for a sustainability and a way to show we are serious about saving the planet.

SAFETY IS PARAMOUNT

The vast compounds will have razor wire fences to ensure that no wild animals can approach the occupants. "These fences are for your protection. Do not be alarmed," Reid continued, "as your caretaker, it will be our duty to see that you receive all the care you'll need.

One downside to the new methodology will be that families will be temporarily separated. It may take just a few weeks to be reunited. There will be four types of habitats: One for teen girls, another for boys under 16, the third for men 16 and up, and finally, very fine accommodations for the women over 21.

Families need not pack any clothing as there will be everything provided for the short stays.

GENEROUS CORPORATE AID

Wal-Mart has agreed to see that you'll have all personal and clothing needs met, the moment you depart the transports.

Some have wondered if a repeat of Hitlerian disposals and slave labor camps may be the real motive for the relocations. "Nonsense!" Senator Hatch sternly declared. "We truly care for you."

Church officials have been trained to comfort and guide any who may have reservations about fully trusting a new shift in state care taking.

UNIFIED THUMBS UP

"After prayerfully considering this project," Mormon leader Thomas S. Monson concurred, "the Lord has made manifest that the leaders of our great nation are indeed worthy of our support, trust and complete cooperation."

He urged all Latter-day Saints, and members of other faiths to step up to the buses or trains, as directed, without resistance or skepticism. "I have no doubt whatsoever that this is the best for most families at this time," he said.

Soon cameras for deep surveillance will be installed throughout America's rural deserts and mountainous byways to help detect any who may have become lost during the massive resettlement. Those found wandering will be escorted by military units who will ensure a safe arrival.

THE PRESIDENT'S WORD

President Obama gave his word of honor that this new care taking would not be anything like the Dark Ages or Nazi extermination years. "Our sole aim is to see that every family is completely taken care of, for as long as they live."

Advertisements and schools will begin preparing for the journeys, and even many pop artists have offered to create songs to make the change enjoyable.

ASSETS SECURE

Every detail has been planned for. "You need not lock your doors, nor take the keys out of your cars," said Vice President Biden, "we will have groups of volunteers to see that all your assets and properties are safe. All you need do is to do what you see your friends and neighbors doing: get on the air conditioned buses, and enjoy a movie and games on the way to your new temporary home."
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Kennedy Killed By BigPharma?

Shame on you Doctors.

"Try going to your trusted physician and having him recommend that your child take a different vaccine every time you go to see him. Then watch as your child deteriorates mentally until he is ruined! Then research what is really going down in the medical field, and I am sure you would feel quite betrayed... I can't take back what they have stolen from my son and I am sure that many feel the same anger I do."

- Mother, rewarded $385,000 for ongoing medical treatments after vaccinating her son.

GOOGLE: Vaccination Horror Stories, baby shots, infant side-effects

WAS Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. killed for his anti-vaccine work? Read his words 7 weeks before he had a mysterious plane "accident" . . .

"We're injecting poisons into children," said environmental attorney Robert F. Kennedy Jr., in a phone interview last week. Last month, Kennedy charged in an article in Rolling Stone and posted online on Salon.com that U.S. health officials purposely covered up the dangers of thimerosal to protect themselves and "Big Pharma" from lawsuits in "a chilling case study of institutional arrogance, power and greed."

Hmmm...?
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Best Blog I've Ever Visited

Be sure to check it out well, and pass it along.

WHY? Because . . .

"Genocide is most efficient in the vacuum of ignorance." - Goebbels to Hitler, June 6, 1942
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An Honest Nurse

Rare indeed!
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My Neighbors Are Weird

Mormonism Raises Risk of Testicular Cancer

Frequent church attendance by Mormon men may increase the risk of developing testicular cancer, in particular a more aggressive form of the disease, according to a U.S. study published on Monday.

The study of 369 Los Angeles-area Latter-day Saint elders ages 18 to 44 with testicular cancer and 979 men in the same age bracket without the disease found that current active members are 70 percent more likely to develop it compared to those who sneak out of meetings early, or have stopped attending Sunday meetings altogether. Frequent meetings, leading to napping during speeches, combined with poor blood circulation while seated upon hardwood benches without cushions may be the cause.

The risk appeared to be highest among men who had reported holding positions of leadership for at least 10 years, attended meetings over 12 hours a week, and those who started faithful attendance before age 18, the researchers wrote in the journal Cancer. The men who habitually flirted with women in the hallways and foyers had a much lower risk.

Stephen Schwartz of the Fred Hutchins Cancer Research Center in Santa Monica, one of the researchers, said the study was the first to explore LDS meeting addicts' association with testicular cancer.

"This is the first study to look at this question, and by itself is not definitive. And there's a lot more research that would have to be done in order to be more confident that mere meeting attendance really is important in a man's risk of developing testicular cancer," Schwartz said in a telephone interview.

The study found the increased risk appeared to be in the form called Bormonism, a testicular cancer named after the perceived cause. It accounts for 40 percent of cases and can be more aggressive and more difficult to treat, if only Priesthood blessings are administered, Schwartz said. The best antidote is to feign illness and stay at home, in slippers, and on a plush couch or La-Z-Boy recliner. Having a plump wife would also help.

Experts are unsure about the causes of testicular cancer, which often strikes men in their 20s and 30s. The disease is seen more commonly in men who have had an undescended testicle or have a family history of testicular cancer.

The disease usually responds well to treatment and has a five-year survival rate of about 96 percent, according to the American Cancer Society. But only if meetings are shortened. "These men have practically memorized all the lessons, so it wouldn't decrease the tithes coming in," one Doctor opined.

About 800 men in the Mormon church are diagnosed with testicular cancer per year, and there are about 14,000 LDS men alive who have survived the disease, the group said. Many were inactive for years, thus speeding their recovery times.

The researchers said they were not sure what it was about Bormonism that may raise the risk. Chronic slouching in polyester suits also can have effects on the male reproductive system including decreased sperm quality, they said. "Look at the children of the cult. They're quite pathetic, and I think that's putting it rather mildly," Dr. Schwarz noted.

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Howard Hughes' Final Words

My friends,

There comes a time in every man's life, when his alarm clock simply doesn't ring.

There are also times where his fingernail clippers become too dull to cut.

We must always remember that while we have no control over alarm clocks and fingernail clippers, we do have control over ourselves and over our thoughts and opinions of matters. We are never hurt by silent clocks and dull clippers, but rather, we are hurt by our reactions to and opinions of what they have stopped doing.

Our patience and spiritual strength is tested every day by these experiences. We must remain mentally anesthetized and spiritually spent. We must never allow someone else to disturb our drowsiness or long fingernails.

We can reduce the risk of this ever happening by remembering that we are always in control of our lethargy. People will have their opinions, but we cannot change them, nor should they be of our concern. We can always be still, grow quieter and contribute nothing to society.

It just takes strength of will, and the power to be no one of historical consequence.

Remember, you are always in control of yourself: consider doing nothing, for a change.

Howard
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- Howard Hughes, Postscript to his Last Will (1974)

I WAS PRESENT

The above was read to the assembled recipients of his estate, prior to checks being issued. The note was also directed to be read at his funeral, and this song was played by a 32 piece orchestra, on the most beautiful day of the year. The breeze carried each note slowly with butterflies, amid 10,000 flowers, many tears and this onlooker changed forever.

As Pharoes of old took treasures and food with them, Beethoven was buried with the Manuscripts of Clementi (his hero). Howard Hughes was buried with his favorite Moody Blues album, signed by the band, gently placed in his folded arms.

God bless and be with Howard Hughes, forever!
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